“Juggling is sometimes called the art of controlling patterns, controlling patterns in time and space” – Ronald Graham (not a juggler, actually a famous Mathematician).
Once you begin a family things become a bit more complicated to say the least. Your brain starts moving at lightning speed trying to accommodate someone else’s wants and needs. What seemed like a wonderful family income is now reduced to “how do we make our payments” then to leaving balances on your credit lines monthly.
Stress starts building and you are hoping to have another child in the next 10 years. Even thinking about taking another costly parental leave gives you the jitters.
Then, you add up the cost of the renovations needed for the house; you consider that the second car is due to be replaced in the next year. There is a promotion you are hoping to earn at work. At this point many people start putting their heads in the sand and trying to ignore the impending financial collapse.
This is the time you have to ask each other out on a breakfast date, drop the kids off with your preferred caretakers for a couple of hours, take along a pen and paper and review your financial situation (ie. your REAL budget). I find that this is a must in my relationship and it is kind of fun to take some time to ourselves. It kills three birds with one stone and that is:
- time alone to talk and plan like we used to
- time to clear the air on expenses
- having a delightful breakfast together with no interuptions!
We take a look at small picture finances once a month and address the larger picture (such as holidays, home renovations, cars, retirement savings, etc…) every 6 months to a year. That’s it! Manageable for all and will help to relieve mounting financial stress, which will then lead to more energy for picking up lego.
The whole point is to prevent financial stress which is the #1 destroyer of any great relationship. If you have started stressing or can feel it sneeking up on you act now.
This is what we specialize in at The Personal Mortgage Group. It normally starts with us moving you into your first home that meets your needs and growth but then it evolves into the finer points of moving you comfortably through every chapter of your life and ultimately a great retirement.
Written by: Steve McKay